So what's the deal with now? It's not that I'm scared of her, I've already proven I can ride her and anything she'll toss my way. Don't mistake lack of fear with trust - you'd be six shades of stupid to trust a three year old! And perhaps that's it. Perhaps I can't be bothered because I don't want to put the effort into thinking every moment I'm on the horse. Once upon a time I loved that. Loved taking a horse that had been started and finishing them off. I loved taking that rough gem and turning it into something anyone would be proud to ride.
I'm not sure. One thing I do know is that I've been more unmotivated to ride the last month than I ever have in my lifetime. Let's be honest. If I really, truly wanted to be riding I would be. Clearly I don't. Even knowing that I need to ride before she goes to be shown off on Monday isn't moving me towards the barn. I keep telling myself, tomorrow, tomorrow I'll go out. Well, tomorrow is today and I've yet to go out. Sigh.
It makes me wonder, is my love affair with horses over? Gone stale, past it's due date?