Quandary

Normally I'm a very focused driven person, however I just can't seem to make up my mind what I want to do with the horses. It all goes back to roping. You see, I loved roping, I loved everything about it. The challenge of it, the rush of a strong powerful horse. I worked very hard to be considered good at it. I didn't want to be just a good roper, I wanted to be a good horseman. To be exceptional with my ability to read the stock, handle the steer and horse. What I wanted was to be considered a "hand". I wanted to be the first woman to compete at the Canadian Finals Rodeo in the Team Roping event. (If you're going to dream, dream big.)

Five years ago, I slipped, fell and damaged my right shoulder - my bad right shoulder (I'm right handed). I've had a sports medicine doctor, a physiotherapist, and a massage therapist tell me I shouldn't rope with it. Every day this shoulder aches and is temperamental at best. A year after injuring it, I sold my freshly finished, ready to rodeo rope horse, keeping my very green prospect.

For the past four years I just rode. I puttered around and put all kinds of bells and whistles into Whiskey (the then prospect). However, just riding has been wearing thin. Last winter I began to loose interest in arena riding. Just riding just wasn't cutting it anymore. I wanted a goal. Something to focus on, to work towards. So I thought I'd try reining. But I find the endless circles and exercises you need to do incredibly boring. Hmmm, maybe I'll show again. Again, more circles. I was having a hard time focusing on just one thing. I kept changing my mind with the weather.

So I sat back and thought, what is it about roping that appealed so much to me? Well, I like the wild card element the cattle added. So I focused on cutting or something cow related. Purchasing a two year old with some pretty good cattle lines. Who grew and grew and grew. I seem drawn to these horses who will make spectacular head horses. Sigh.

My vet thought he'd make a spectacular jumper. Thus putting the jumping idea into my head. I'm back to being indecisive. What do I want to do? Do I want to jump, cut, compete in working cow horse? What I want to do is rope for all the good it does me. I've started pondering the thought of if I can get my shoulder stable enough, strong enough, then perhaps, just perhaps I'll start throwing a rope at a dummy. And if I can throw the rope at the dummy without freezing the shoulder, then maybe Whiskey can go visit a rope horse trainer (to save my shoulder unnecessary wear and tear). And maybe, maybe I can do what my heart so dearly loves.