Goodbye

Sometimes it's hard to say goodbye to old friends, yet that is what I did today.  Over the past three days I'd carved out time to sit with Tessa.  On Sunday, when I went out she was basically immobile.  She got up and walked once, going outside to go do her business.  When I called at lunch on Monday my dad was choked up not thinking she'd make it through the day.  After a long frustrating and stressful day at work, I pulled myself together and went to the farm to sit with her.  Upset about the five million other things I was neglecting, Sarge helped pull the guilt away, allowing me to find peace.

Mom had made her a pillow pallet and she was covered with a fleece blanket.  By this point in time she was unable to stand at all and hadn't ate or drank all day.  I sat with her.  Placing her bed in the vee of my legs and stroked and massaged her.  I had tentatively thought I'd bring her home with me, but when it came time to go to bed, mom and dad quickly carried her to their bedroom.  I realized then that this was as hard for them as it was for me.  So I left her with them.

I took today off work.  I did my chores, gave Diva and Ryder a quick play and went back out to the farm.  Gathering up Tessa I placed her on the couch, with her head on my lap.  We stayed like that for the bulk of the day.  I began to feel peace.  In the morning my vet had called me.  She was a bit upset and worried.  After I explained how quickly Tessa had lost function she felt better.  I knew that when she'd see Tessa she'd know, just as I knew.

It may seem strange but I feel relieved.  I think back to a young and carefree time where Tessa and I would go for great rambling rides through the field.  The wind in my hair, and her tail in the air.  This is how I remember her.  She was a good friend and beloved companion.

Rest in peace, Tessa.  You are loved.