Simple Comforts

For the past six months I've been struggling with some medical problem.  I've been on a variety of medications which have worked with a modicum of success.  This past weekend I felt the worst yet.  Taking a couple of days off work I went to see a new doctor who has been able to get me into a specialist.  Next week!  While this is exciting, I'm still not feeling up to my normal chipper self.  

What this means for the animals is unintentional neglect.  I feel bad about my lack of engagement.  I really do.  But don't have the energy or at time even feel well enough to leave the house.  To help mitigate my guilty feelings I've been bringing Reba into the house.  My little "outside" dog has taken to laying by the back door.  I'll go to the bench and sit for her to come to me for some petting action.  

With Tessa and Reba always teetering on the verge of war this entails some work.  Both dogs need a lot of prompts and correction to help them understand they don't "own" me or the house.  I'm the one who says who goes where.  With consistent work my girls seem to be developing a permanent truce.  They have both been reduced to the rare growl at the other.  Right now as I type I have Tessa sleeping on the left of my chair and Reba sleeping on the right.  I view this as a victory for me!

This means I get the emotional comfort and satisfaction of having my dogs around without stress.  And I don't feel so bad that I can't run with them, work them and on some days play with them.  My poor Border Collies are learning patience while I work on getting back to the owner they used to have.

Choices

Choices can be a tough thing.  With Whiskey moving into the permanent lame category I've had to make some tough decisions.  One being even with her skin allergies to make the attempt to breed her.  Philosophically, I'm opposed to making that decision but I'm even more opposed to putting her down or having her sit in a field and do nothing for the next 15 years.

I've even had to make contingency plans.  If Whiskey stays and becomes a broodmare, someone else must go.  There is a limit to time and financial resources.  I've also decided that if she doesn't catch I'm going to give her to my farrier who adores her.  

I hate making these choices.  And I wish it would be possible to wave the magic wand and fix everything.

Tears

I've been mulling this post around in my head, not sure I was ready to write it and wanting to wait until I had a better idea how the end would turn out.  A week ago Sunday I went for a ride.  Nothing too terribly fun or spectacular.  Instead it was a conditioning ride for Whiskey and mostly involved long trotting (posting trot) with some gentle bending exercises.  As the ride progressed Whiskey went from feeling pretty darn good to gut clenching awful.  

Getting off, I asked her to move out a bit so I could see what she looked like.  Tears filled my eyes as I realized she was heart stoppingly lame.  Not just a little off.  But LAME.  Horrified I brought her back in and hosed her off.  As I stretched out her hind leg I felt a pop.  Tears streaming down my face I went and put her away.  

Making arrangements for the vet to come out I pondered the question of what do you do with a horse that's permanently lame.  Whiskey had always been a high performance type horse and would never make a kid or sometime rider type horse.  I had decided not to breed her but if my options were to have a horse sit in the field for the next 15 years or turn her into a broodmare then broodmare wins hands down.  

When Sam (the vet) arrived to check her out she gave a grim diagnosis stating she thought Whiskey had injured her stifle.  That combined with her touchy hock was not a good thing.  This horse was very lame.  We decided to give the horse a week's rest at which point Sam would come out and check again.  

As it stands right now if the leg has not improved significantly then we won't pursue any other treatments.  If the leg shows enough improvement we'll look at some options to see if we can get her rideable sound.  Friday is the big day.  And now I sit and wait and make contingency plans.

Horse Controversy

Warning:  Post is not appropriate for children or those overly sensitive.

Up here, in Canada a war is brewing.  There are two camps of people.  Those who have no issues with horse slaughter houses and those who are working feverishly to get them banned.  This issue has been getting quite a lot of media attention.  Tonight, the sound of the news drew me in.  And left me with images I'm having a hard time reconciling.  You see, I've always believed there needs to be an appropriate method of disposing (yes, disposing) of unwanted or "cull" horses.  I strongly believe there are horses out there that the world is just better off not having.  

However, tonight after watching the news I was filled with horror.  Horror because no animal should be treated cruelly, even the culls of the world.  I've heard many sad stories coming out of the United States (which have banned equine slaughter) about horses just left to fend for themselves and needless suffering.  Tonight I saw an all too real look at needless suffering.  I wouldn't condone this treatment for an animal that I dislike, much less one so intrinsically tied to my life.  

Tonight I watched the news on CBC.  I watched an article on slaughter house abuse.  It was not a pretty sight.  It made me feel sad, depressed and wondering what is the answer.  How do we balance the needs of the horse with the realities of the world?  

Here's the link to the CBC story.  Watch it if you can handle it.  I'm not sure I could...

The Mental Game

As a relatively active person who's played and coached sports I have a decent understanding of how psychology can play a roll in your success or failure as an athlete. At one point in my life I had the mental game down!  I was the girl who would hop on anything and never once doubt my ability to ride it.  Now it takes nerves of steel to hop on anything strange.  

I wonder sometimes what has caused this change.  I've had a few (okay more than a few) pretty nasty wrecks - some requiring hospitalization.  But in the past that wouldn't slow me down.  I was the girl riding and competing with pulled muscles and broken bones.  Happily.  

Yesterday I was placed in a tight spot.  I was not expecting it to happen, but it did.  A girl came out and wanted to see Whiskey.  Let's say I wasn't expecting this.  Whiskey has been sitting in a field doing nothing for in the vicinity of three years.  Now, before all this time passed I would have confidently hopped on her.  Yesterday I was more than a little nervous.  I was scared.  

I had played the mental game so well I was convinced she would buck me off.  I was convinced she would bolt and plant me in the dirt.  That she'd dish out all kinds of things I can't handle.  Having no choice - I'd have to be the first one on.  I saddled her up and put her on the lunge line.  And nothing.  No buck.  No snort.  No blow.  So I lunged her some more.  And nothing.  Pulling her halter off I put her bridle on, placed my helmet on my head and prepared to mount up.  

My legs were shaking so hard I could hardly get my leg in the stirrup.  I stood in the stirrup and got down, repeated the process. Finally I swung myself into the saddle.  Trying to still the muscle quivers I chanted my mantra mentally, "Calm assertive energy".  After all the last thing I wanted to do was set the horse off at this point.  

Walking off I waited for the explosion.  Only nothing happened.  We walked a few laps, did a few patterns and moved up into a trot.  Still nothing.  And she was starting to feel good.  Real good.  Putting my leg into her I tested the water a little, but she moved off my leg smooth as butter on a hot summer day.  I was impressed.  Feeling bolder I asked for the lope.  Perfection.  

Now I know this horse.  I trained this horse, and yet here I was playing negative mental games with myself.  I had gotten myself so worked up that I forgot riding was supposed to be fun.  And did I have FUN yesterday!  Whiskey is definitely a Corvette of the horse world.  Soft, responsive and powerful!  

I had so much fun riding her I'm heading out to do it again today!

Goodbye My Friend

Goodbye my friend Joey.  You have been a true and devoted companion.  I will miss you and wish you the best in your new home.  

Last night Joey left my yard for the final time.  He has a new human to adore.  A new human to work with him, to help him grow and stretch, to become the dog he is capable of being.  Joey has gone to live and work for a team roper.  This man had a quiet manner and Joey while nervous wasn't wild eyed around him.  Joey will help him push steers up the alley while they rope.  This is a great job for him.  Plus he should be happy getting regular work.  The man has experience with stock dogs which makes all the difference in the world.

So while I'm sad to see him go, I am happy for his new beginning.

Blogging Break

I've been a rather bad blogger lately.  Even though I'm doing things and have been out enjoying the mostly spring weather I just have not felt like telling any stories.  I could have wrote about how adorable Joey is when he curls up in a ball on the deck.  Or how Reba is trying to become a house dog.  She lies by the back door, when it opens she comes in and once more, lies by the back door.  How the calves are coming or how it's abnormally dry here for spring.

I could write about my new truck that I absolutely adore.  Or the trip to the vet for Whiskey to get her teeth done.  Or even how I mysteriously pulled something in my neck/shoulder when I was putting my hair in a ponytail.  I could write about how I'm second guessing my decision to list Whiskey.  How she was a superstar her first time under saddle in YEARS!  How Izzy is growing into a spectacular little horse.  

Heck, I could even write about my love of grilled cheese sandwiches - yum!  But I just don't feel like writing anything.  All my creative juices seem to be on holidays.  I'm sure they'll come back soon but until then...  I'll write nothing at all.