Saturday, April 20, 2013

Dreams of Past

I have been dreaming a lot lately.  It's strange.  I'm normally a person who can control what I dream about much like a TV channel.  I have been tired and sleeping hard.  I have also been having unexpected dreams that leave me feeling unsettled when I wake up.  It was December when I said goodbye with Tessa.  I was and am very much at peace with my decision regarding her care.  It is now April and I have been dreaming of her.  I wake looking for her only to realize morning after morning that she is gone.

Don't get me wrong.  I love the "babies".  They are distinctly different than Tessa.  They have their own personalities and quirks.  It seems odd to me that I'd be missing Tessa now.  Wishing for a little more time to enjoy her company.  Feeling sad that I won't hear her howl of joy.  Having her jauntily trotting along side me when I run or walk.

I fully understand there will not be another Tessa, and maybe that's the problem.

Diva, Ryder, and Tessa.


Chelsi said...

My heart aches with you. I walked in to a feed store today... hadn't been there since loosing Hawky. I didn't think about until I turned around and saw the wall of toys. Hit me like a ton of bricks. Had to go sit in the truck for a min to get myself together. Sometimes I think our mind forces us to deal with, in dreams, that which we avoid during the day.

MTWaggin said...

I wish I had that much control of my dreams but honestly, maybe Tessa is just telling you she is still around and in your heart where she should be! Part may too be your struggle with some of your other animal decisions of this winter. Just let it be what it is and smile at the memory of her!

Piter Smith said...

Beautiful foto!
I like dogs so much!
It's my favorite animals